


Special Measures

by Dzuljeta



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Apologies, Because She Needs to Be, Dark, Drama & Romance, Episode Fix-It: s04e13 Journey's End, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Guilt, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Romance, Suicide Attempt, Time Lady Rose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-09-23 14:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20341993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dzuljeta/pseuds/Dzuljeta
Summary: Rose doesn't take being left to live with the half-human Doctor lightly and she shows it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I needed this. If I see another TenxRose story transformed into a TenTooxRose fic, I may lose control.
> 
> BBC owns everything.

**Special Measures**

**1.**

Rose gulped. She knew what she needed to do. And the Doctor, her Doctor needed to see it.

“If you run away like a bloody coward, at least have this sight to remember me by, Doctor,” she inhaled and cut herself deeply into the heart with an elegant, yet deadly sharp knife the Time Lord recognised from his countless journeys across the galaxy, back when using this has not been forbidden everywhere. But this was impossible! She couldn’t- 

_ Don’t- _

But it was too late, her blouse dyed with blood almost immediately.

_ No! Rose! _

She woke up aboard the TARDIS, with both Doctors looking at her.

“It seems I can’t even off myself properly,” Rose breathed out, passing out.

“So, that’s what she did, then? Chose killing herself rather than to live without you?” The metacrisis didn’t even look concerned. Travelling with unstable suicidal companions - for this was what Rose Tyler appeared to have become - did not interest him. 

“If she dies, I-”

_ Will blame yourself for it forever. Yes. But you’ll need to be alone in this, _the blue-clad Doctor said. “I have a lot of things to discover in this new life of mine and dealing with suicidal companions isn’t what I’m ready for,” he said.

“But, but- It’s Rose! The woman of your dreams!”

The half-human Doctor shook his head. “She’s a woman of _ your _dreams, not mine. I’d rather continue travelling with Donna Noble, if you don’t mind.”

Rose’s Doctor exhaled. “Better ask Donna if she agrees, first.”

Donna Noble, as if able to sense she was a subject of some conversation, entered the room. “How is Rose and what have the two of you done to her to lead her to this?”

“I am the one to blame,” the Doctor in brown admitted. “Rose has returned to me from the parallel universe and I have thought it best to give her away to this… _ person _, he glared at his not-Time Lord variation.

“She couldn’t take it,” Donna said quietly.

“Don’t say it!” The Doctor panicked.

The half-human Doctor looked at him tiredly. “I don’t know how you can still be clinging to her after what she’s done.”

The Time Lord was burning with rage. “I love her, you idiot!”

“Good for you,” the Doctor in blue said evenly. “I wouldn’t be able to tolerate her for long.”

Donna Noble shook her head, incredulous. “So what are you even doing here? Enjoying seeing people in pain?”

“I was expecting you would agree to keep me company in travelling around the world. “I still have a lot to see for myself!”

Donna gave him a murderous glare. “Your unjustifiable optimism in this dreadful situation is only making me realise I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with you, Doctor,” she admitted.

“I’m sure nobody would,” the alien sighed. “You have turned out to be an intolerable half-human who has _ dared _to insult the woman I love. Before I end up murdering you-”

“You want me to leave. I am going to do just that, don’t worry. My memory of the places I have got to visit is rather impeccable, thanks to… you, I suppose.”

The Doctor sighed. “I’d be extremely thankful if you avoided the places I’d visited the last couple of years, could you at least do that? For your own good as well as mine?”

“Yes. Sounds reasonable. _ Brilliant, _if I’m allowed to say it.”

“Of course.” 

“By the way, I don’t think Rose is human any more,” the half-human Doctor spat, leaving the TARDIS with no intention to ever return to the Time Lord.

“She can be whoever she wants,” he breathed brokenly, feeling too broken and guilty to pretend. “She’s my Rose,” the Doctor stopped paying any attention to Donna then, his hands touching the place her carefully disinfected and bandaged wound had been in. He knew for certain he and the TARDIS had done everything they could to make Rose as well as possible again. Maybe even better than before.

“Doctor,” Rose breathed out, realising she was feeling unusually… better than normal. Of course, still being alive was better than anything, some part of her mind suggested. Maybe every sense was supposed to feel considerably sharper, after- “I’m sorry.”

“_ I’m _sorry, Rose. It has all been my fault,” he assured her. “I should have never even considered that insanity. Ever.”

The girl nodded. “You have made the choice for me. I didn’t like it.”

“Please, no matter what happens, don’t ever try to take your own life again. Please.” Rose Tyler has always been an epitome of positivity, yet it took so little for her to abandon all of it, because of his foolishness...

Rose breathed out, slowly.

“Please! Had you succeeded, I’d have-” 

She gulped. He would move on, as he always had._ The fact still stands, Doctor. You would have left me with a stranger without a second thought. How can I even trust you? _

The Time Lord gulped, giving Rose a meaningful look. She didn’t look away, knowing this action of hers might have changed his perception about her drastically, but it has been too late to do anything about it now.

The girl understood she couldn’t sense the other, half-human Doctor’s presence aboard. “What about that other Doctor? One supposed to live his human life with me? Where has he gone?”

“Does it still matter, Rose?” The alien asked her, worry heard in his voice.

“He must have found me too unpredictable,” Rose said with a shrug.

“Er… Actually, _ suicidal _was the word he used,” the Doctor said darkly. 

Donna Noble has finally found a chance to join the conversation. “He has kicked himself out. Out of the TARDIS and out of our lives, hopefully! Two Doctors is too much, even for me!” The companion shouted excitedly, before meeting their eyes, currently filled with anything but amusement.

“Er. Well. I guess I’m not welcome here. See you,” the redhead has rushed away from the chamber without another word. She did not want to intrude in whatever it was the two were into.


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously…**

_ “Er. Well. I guess I’m not welcome here. “See you,” the redhead has rushed away from the chamber without another word. She did not want to intrude in whatever it was the two were into. _

* * *

**Special Measures **

**2.**

The Doctor sighed in relief, seeing the woman has left them. 

“Ah. Here we are, then! Since Donna’s away, Rose… Do you want to talk to me about something?”

What has left her lips didn’t surprise him. “About what?” About how silly, weak and helpless I am?”

The Doctor shook his head. “You are neither of these things. Trust me, Rose.”

“How can you know that?”

“I do,” he said.

“Do you mean you don’t think I am an unpredictable, suicidal person?”

“I could never think so about you. Never.”

Rose inhaled. “Thank you. Mum would have locked me up in some kind of an asylum, had I even considered-”

“You don’t look like someone who would to me, in the first place,” the Doctor said, afraid he may be unlocking some secret cases of Rose’s mind with mentioning this alone, but he intended to share his everything with this woman and knew she was not against disclosing her darkest secrets to him. On the contrary.

“I have almost done the worst thing of all today,” Rose was afraid to meet his eyes. “How can I ever be forgiven?”

“Rose. Never blame yourself for things you cannot control.”

“You must be joking, Doctor. I have truly believed in what I have decided to do.”

He saw complete honesty in her burning hazel eyes. “I know,” he assured her. “You look completely drained, Rose. Please, allow me to lead you to bed. I’m certain some sleep, or at least a little kip, should help you to concentrate on the most important things. I am here, with you and am not thinking of leaving you ever again. Trust me, Rose.”

“Ah. What if I get awakened by nightmares? About… About-” Her worry was breaking the Doctor’s hearts.

“I can stay with you and keep those away,” he assured her.

“Just like you used to?” Rose asked him hopefully. “I can’t possibly imagine-”

“Don’t you worry, my dear. It’s actually lovely to know that other… _ man _has left you.”

“But you have come with this idea of getting him and me together. Which he wouldn’t have thought of in the first place, had you not encouraged him,” Rose said bitterly.

“I’m the one to blame for this foolish step, yes,” the Doctor agreed, feeling any additional distress might make Rose feel worse still. “But it’s over now.”

“Nothing’s ever truly over, Doctor,” she said with a sigh. “My spontaneous decision to end it all, it can’t simply be forgotten.”

“Trust me, Rose, it can. Your human mind is constructed that way. With some help from me, the memories can be dulled enough to make you think of it as if it has only been a dreadful dream.”

The girl gulped. “I don’t think it’s going to work. I don’t think anything is, I-”

Rose was becoming hysterical. The Doctor suppressed a sigh. _ Everything’s going to be brilliant, Rose. I assure you. _

The companion trembled. _ I wouldn’t be so convinced. You do know he has said I’m not really a human any more? _

“Oh, Rose… He may have been upset. You shouldn’t blame yourself for whatever that version of me has said. Pay him no mind!”

“I feel useless,” Rose said quietly.

“You are anything but useless, Rose!” The Doctor gulped. Have all his constant reminders to Rose she has been special proven futile?

“You keep protecting and saving everyone you meet, not expecting for anything in return! Just because you feel like it, Rose! How could anyone _ not _love you?”

The girl inhaled, her words bitter. “It seems your age still hasn’t taught you a lot about the human race, Doctor.”

Maybe she was right. “Who knows,” he said. “The only thing I need to know right now is that you’re feeling better and calmer,” his words were filled with worry.

“Oh, Doctor. I don’t think I’m ever going to feel good about myself again. I have ruined both of our lives. I could have stayed with him.”

The Time Lord shook his head. “No! Don’t you ever say it! We belong together, you and I,” he assured her with a smile.

“Do we?” Rose realised he avoided using fond epithets with her, as if in doubt.

“Yes. Just… Let’s get you to bed-”

_ Is a kiss good-night an option? _Rose wasn’t sure she could take pretending to be human for much longer.

The Doctor was concerned. “It’s nowhere as late in the day to be requesting-”

“I know,” she blushed. “It’s not customary for a woman to-”

“Don’t be silly. Of course, I can kiss you whenever you want,” he smirked, not used to talking about these things with her.

But it could mean Rose has only needed some support from him… And who was he to object to granting it to her?

Usually, she would change her mind or find something less troubling, seeing his unease. But Rose was doing none of that this time, which meant-

_ Please. I can’t cope with this on my own, _Rose admitted.

The Doctor still couldn’t see the exact reason why she needed the kiss so badly, but allowing Rose Tyler to give in into her unusual dark moods has been worse, he decided. Needless to say, giving the woman he loved the kiss he has been craving to for months, maybe even years, was supposed to only be a means to soothe Rose. How much hidden distress she may be carrying within her?

The Doctor understood another moment wasted may be yet another silly excuse of his why he couldn’t and shouldn’t kiss Rose… But there she was, accepting his embrace with some kind of worry.

_ Rose. It’s likely the wrong time and the wrong place, but I- _

The girl welcomed his tender kiss without objections, expecting exactly what has come next. His eyes taking up half of his face, filled with both fear and delight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Previously…**

_ The girl welcomed his tender kiss without objections, expecting exactly what has come next. His eyes taking up half of his face, filled with both fear and delight. _

* * *

**Special Measures **

**3.**

“Rose,” the Doctor wrapped his arms around her, shaking his shock away. “I’m sorry!!”

The girl sent him a concerned look.

“You have just saved me from someone not actually caring about me. Don’t be sorry!”

“You don’t understand. I should have noticed the changes inside you right away! I am a Time Lord, for Rassilon’s sake!”

“Yes. An inattentive, self-concerned Time Lord,” she pointed out with a tiny smile.

He nodded, ashamed. “Not any more. I can’t allow myself to keep behaving like an insensitive idiot, not with you by my side, Rose. Forgive me.”

“It is I who apparently has some suicidal tendencies hidden within,” she giggled bitterly. “You are not the one to blame.”

“I am. You can’t convince me otherwise.”

_ Even if I try very very hard? _Rose understood it was better to keep their conversation as light as possible. It was likely the Time Lord was still surprised, likely shocked after having so many things happen in such a short time… 

The Doctor inhaled, concerned about Rose’s ability to deal with everything - he was a Time Lord and had had enough time to adapt to the occasionally drastic speed in the way things could change, particularly in the life of a time and space traveller.

But now, now he was no longer alone. Travelling with Donna Noble has been amazing, but she was human. 

_ Rose, I think we should both try very hard, _ the Doctor responded to her previous words at last. _ But we should do it together. You and I, together, always. _

“Do you mean we could try living as if nothing had happened?” Rose asked him fearfully.

“Oh, Rose. A misstep. A miscalculation. That’s all it has been.” His soft voice assured her.

The girl sobbed, “I don’t even deserve to stay aboard, I am too weak to even-”

_ My Rose. You are the only one I need by my side. On board or no matter where. Trust me. _

“Are you sure?” Rose asked quietly.

“I am. Do you know why?”

She shook her head. 

“I love you,” he beamed at her. “It hasn’t been fair for me to first utter my feelings for you to that insensitive half-human variation of me, but-”

Rose put a finger on her lips, her eyes sparkling. _ I have been waiting to hear you say it for so long I- _

The Doctor looked at her softly, never against using telepathic communication rather than the dry human speech. _ Could I kiss you again, Rose? _

“Yes,” she looked at him expectantly. Maybe kisses have been the only thing allowing her to keep the dreadful memory of being left to someone else at bay.

Together with his kiss, Rose’s tears began to fall. 

“Rose?”

“I, I can’t!”

She freed herself from his embrace and gave way to her suppressed emotions, coming out as uncontrollable sobs. Her self-pity and shame about having trusted the Doctor to never betray her, even when she should have remembered all the instances he has forgotten she existed-

And yet, the girl knew she was always going to end up trusting the Doctor, no matter what, which has only heightened the emotions usually alien to her.

The Doctor could only stare at her and blame himself. It wasn’t often he has got to see her cry. “I’m so, so sorry, Rose, I imagined I was doing you a favour, I-”

“Just be quiet for a second, Doctor,” she said, likely finding a way to compose herself enough to speak evenly. “Who could say you won’t give me away for some other bloke you find suitable for me the second you grow tired of me?”

The Time Lord shook his head wildly. “I don’t know how to convince you I won’t, Rose.”

“Exactly. You can’t, because you don’t know what may happen in the future,” Rose exhaled.

The Doctor shrugged. “That’s just the thing, my Rose. But one can always change something for the better,” he smiled at her assuringly.

“How?” She asked him. “Pretending none of this has ever happened? Trying to live our lives just as we used to, before Norway?”

“I was thinking we could try to wash this dreadful memory away with making us some pleasant memories instead,” the Doctor beamed at her. “But first, you must allow sleep to dull your still uncomfortably fresh experience, love.”

“All I need is your close presence,” Rose breathed. “An assurance you won’t be leaving me to fight with my nightmares all alone.”

The Doctor smiled at her softly. “I am not going anywhere. I am staying with you. Forever, if you want?”

Rose smiled. “Yes, please.” 

This was all the Time Lady could say, the enforced fatigue affecting both Rose and the Doctor equally.

As if on request, the TARDIS has changed the light aboard into the night mode, not once thinking about the fiery companion.

Donna Noble was startled. “Hey! It’s still light outside! Whatever’s happened?!”

The TARDIS hated having to do this, but she has had no wish to interrupt Rose’s rest, one she imagined has been a necessity to both Rose and the Doctor after such an exhausting day. To make sure Donna’s shouts didn’t reach her favourite couple, the clever vessel has temporarily made the walls to the room they were in noise-proof. 

Donna Noble was left alone with her displeasure.

“How is that fair, TARDIS? The Spaceman and his one and only are gone somewhere aboard the ship, likely to have a nap, or at least this is the impression I get. While I am forced to join them? What is this insanity? I thought you, as a sentient vessel, would be more understanding? Not everyone feels like going to bed this early!”

The TARDIS wasn’t amused. She needed to take care of Rose, currently having some vivid nightmare, as the sweat on her face has explained to her. Which was why Donna has been given a book, a table lamp and a very clear implication it was better for her to stay in her room.


End file.
